For Carl, advocacy isn’t something he turns on and off. It’s simply who he is.
Whether he’s speaking with lawmakers, singing on stage, writing a musical, or holding the door open for a stranger, Carl Grayson has spent decades proving that inclusion is built through everyday actions—and the courage to ask, “Why not?”
A lifelong Rochester resident and longtime participant in Starbridge services, Carl has dedicated much of his life to ensuring people with disabilities are seen, heard, and included.
Growing up, Carl loved music, but school wasn’t always easy.
“I got teased a lot,” he recalls. “I wanted to walk out.”
Instead, a teacher encouraged him to join the school band. Playing the drums would eventually lead to a lifelong love of music and performance.
Today, Carl performs with Voices Unlimited through Artists Unlimited, continuing to share his voice with audiences across the Rochester community.
Music wasn’t just an outlet. It became proof of what can happen when someone is given the chance to participate.
“So being included,” Carl says, “is really important.”
That belief has guided nearly every chapter of his life.
Over the years, Carl has advocated at the local, state, and national levels. He has traveled to Albany and Washington, D.C., speaking up for disability rights and community inclusion. During one demonstration protesting the institutionalization of people with disabilities, Carl and fellow advocates were even arrested in an act of peaceful civil disobedience.
For him, it was worth it.
“It’s about time,” he says when asked what Disability Pride Month means to him. “It’s about time the public recognizes us.”
Carl has never waited for someone else to create opportunities. He creates them himself.
When he completed a college transition program at Monroe Community College, he noticed participants with disabilities weren’t included in the main graduation ceremony. Instead of accepting it, he asked why.
His question led to change.
Carl and another student became the first graduates from the program to walk across the commencement stage alongside their peers—creating opportunities for future students with disabilities to experience the same celebration.
He’s done the same in countless other spaces, helping secure participation in community events like the Lilac Festival Parade and serving as a leader in self-advocacy groups throughout New York State.
But advocacy isn’t the only thing that defines Carl.
“He is very humble, so I will hype him up,” says Sue Ormandy, Carl’s friend, self-directed staff, and paid neighbor, who excitedly shared photos of her friend’s recent accomplishments.
He’s an accomplished baker known for his homemade desserts. He’s an athlete who once competed in gymnastics, loves biking, and continues trying new things—including fulfilling a longtime dream of taking tap dance lessons.
He’s also a playwright.
Carl wrote a play centered on two people with disabilities who fall in love while navigating the same hopes, challenges, and everyday experiences as any other couple. He’s now working with community partners to transform the script into a musical featuring performers with disabilities.
At home, Carl shares life with his partner, Susan. Because of outdated benefit rules that can penalize people with disabilities for marrying, the couple chose to celebrate their love through a commitment ceremony instead.
Their story is a reminder that true inclusion means removing barriers—not creating them.
Those who know Carl describe him as endlessly positive.
“I have never seen him without a smile,” says longtime friend, Cindy Bensalama. “Even when he’s having a difficult day, he’s always thinking about what he can do for someone else.”
“He always will open the door for someone and I think that inspires people.”
Carl agrees that staying involved and positive have made all the difference.
“It makes me feel like a person,” he says simply.
Perhaps that’s the greatest lesson Carl offers.
Inclusion isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about making sure everyone has a place at the table, a voice in the conversation, and an opportunity to participate fully in community life.
For decades, Carl has been opening those doors—not just for himself, but for countless others.
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